Welcome! Vilkommen! Bienvenue! AAAAArGH GET IN!!! Mother! Stephen! I Love You!
REVIEW OF 'PYGMALION' AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE
Steven Male. The legend, the icon, the messiah of the 21st Century. He lives in Kidderminster, and we, in this here society what you have come across, appreciate him.
Steven Male is studying psychology at Bangor university, putting him in a higher echelon of mankind. We in the SMAS aim to find ways in which we mere mortals can be more like Steve Male, from bathing in our own urine, to killing protected species of wildlife.
Roles Steve Male Has (Beautifully) Played
Doctor Watson
This wonderful, touching performance stole the show in the production of 'Slumber Party' in February 2005. Not only did Steve look wonderful in his waistcoat, he also gave the entire SMAS erections with the chemistry he generated with the nuns. An absolutely perfect performance. Shame about the nose, but Pinocchio had the same problem and look where he ended up - in a zoo! I mean... erm, the silver screen! Yeah!
Frederick
In the recent BEDS production of 'Pygmalion'. We at the SMAS were very excited about this performance of his and had bought the Kleenex in advance. You can read a review at the bottom of the page.
SPOT STEVE MALE!
The man himself, Steve Male, with Brother Steve-Lover Number 1 Dominic Allen, at the first annual Steve-Con
WOULD YOU - yes, that's right YOU, sad lonely saps - like to join SMAS? Then just send Steve an Email! Repetetively! I'm sure he'd love to hear from you, again and again and again! Until they drown out the voices in his head!
STEVEN MALE SMELLS! AND SO CAN YOU!
We, here at SMAS, want to bring people closer to the likeness of Steven Male. Let's face it, the world will be a better place. You can start at home in the small ways. Next time you want to go to the toilet just do it in your pants, or the next time you see a skunk, drink it's spray, or the next time you're driving down the A5, and you see Dominic Allen, speed up and hit him at 75mph, then reverse and repeat the process until he is a bloody, barely identifiable mush on the road.
We all love Steven Male.
HOWEVER!
He does not return love to the following people:
Dominic Allen
The Pope
Christopher Wren, the architect
Dominic Allen
Kings Henry VIII, Richard II, III, John, Alfred, Elizabeth and George V
Johann Sebastian Bach
Niccolo Machiavelli
Stevie Wonder
Dominic Allen
Mother Teresa
St Elmo
Elton John
Dominic Allen
J G Ballard
God
The terrapin
Benito Mussolini
Cardinal Richelieu
Dominic Allen
Hugh
Hugh
Barney McGrew
Cuthbert
Dibble
Grub
William Makepeace Thackery
Dominic Allen
Jamie Oliver
Rudolf Hess
Dominic Allen
El Greco
Dominic Allen
The Foreign Office
The Duke of Wellington
Caravaggio
Dominic Allen
Vikram Seth
Bono
Butros Butros Gali
Peter the Great
Slobodan Milosevic
George Eliot
Dr Raibaikal
Ghandi
Woodrow Wilson's Twenty-One Point Peace Programme
The BBC
Marvin Gaye
Dominic Allen
Joseph of Aramathea
The Virgin Mother
Jews
Lebanon
Homo-Erectus
Cervantes
Homer
and finally, Josef Von Sternberg and his 1930 film 'Morocco', including its entire cast and, particularly, Adolphe Menjou.
'PYGMALION' by George Bernard Shaw
review by Brother Steve-Lover #312
Well, we all know why people went to see this play and that was Steve Male. What an amazingly gifted actor. Not to detract from his co-stars, who were all very, very good, but Steve was my reason for not only being at the play, but for breathing in and out.
Had I not found the Steve Male Appreciation Society, I would be at the bottom of Lake Windermere, my feet tied to a breezeblock from my grandmother's half-demolished house. Steve saved me. And, for this, I now worship him. I kiss the photo I have of him by my bedside twice daily, and ask my partner to wear the Steven Male face mask when we make physical love. Now I lead a happy life.
But back to the play. 'Pygstevemalion' was amazing. Steve's portrayal of Freddy was a joy to behold. I did not know he would appear in the play so early on! I was not ready to see Steve in the flesh as soon as that. So when he walked on stage for the first time, I let out a cry of ecstacy. Since my suicide attempt, I had been waiting to see him. In the same room as well! Goodness me, what a guy! I tried to find him afterwards, but, alas, could not. What a coup it would have been if I could have interviewed him! I'm afraid my underwear would not have been able to cope with the strain. You see, that day I was wearing my white G-string with Steve's face on the front.
Anyway, all in all a fantastic play, and a wonderful performance by Steve's face and Steve's body.
******/5
